Melina Vastola/USA TODAY Sports

Colts veteran Matt Hasselbeck, a three time Pro Bowler, has been been in the NFL since 1998. Hasselbeck’s on the second year of a two year deal with the Colts to serve as Andrew Luck’s backup, and Hasselbeck knows the only chance he’ll ever see the field is if Luck goes down to injury. With nothing to gain by cheating in the winter of his career, Hasselbeck summed up his most recent surprise drug test with one hilarious joke.

Random drug testing. &#128566
Matthew Hasselbeck ( Hasselbeck) April 09, 2014

Every time I get tested for steroids reminds me of the elderly lady at the airport that TSA pulls out of line for a pat down.
Matthew Hasselbeck ( Hasselbeck) April 09, 2014

(Thanks to the Indianapolis Star for bringing this to our attention.)

Gregg popovich’s secret to building a great team in 18 words

Houston, texas tobacco stores find discounts for ryo & cigarettes

Soobum Im USA TODAY Sports

Spurs coach Gregg Popovich is considered one of the greatest minds in the game, but he thinks the success isn’t really attributable to his strategy. From San Antonio Express News’ Jeff McDonald

Pop reveals secret to Spurs’ lasting success “Get the No. 1 pick in the draft every 10 years and make sure it’s a franchise player.”
Jeff McDonald ( JMcDonald SAEN) April 08, 2014

The two number one picks Pop is referring to are Tim Duncan in 1997 and David Robinson in 1987. And while Pop is of course correct in pointing out that those two ended up being cornerstones of the franchise’s success, we’re not sure how his statement will make picks like Tony Parker (28th in 2001), Manu Ginobili (a steal at 57th in 1999) and more feel.

Later on Tuesday night, Popovich, continued to produce amazing quips in limited amounts of words when describing his team’s performance

Pop “They forced us to lay an egg. We were awful. They kicked our ass.”
Jeff McDonald ( JMcDonald SAEN) April 09, 2014